My friend forwarded me the following fictitious story about a struggle with laser printers in the Air Force medical clinic. I'm sure it can't be true!
I was stationed at an Air Force Base for 4 years. I had a computer and a printer in my office. The printer was non-networked and plugged directly in the back of the computer.
The first year everything went fine with that arrangement. Then the toner ran out. No money for toner I was told, you have to wait until the first of the next fiscal year. As it turns out I waited for toner for over a year, walking down the hall to collect printer documents. Great exercise, walking up and down the hallway 5-10 minutes per hour. All the time the Air Force is asking, "why aren't Air Force providers more efficient?"
When toner finally came the superintendent brought two brand new boxes of toner. It seemed that during the year+ I was without toner, at least two requests for toner were placed with supply. Once the money came in, most of the requests process, even if they are duplicates.
This happy situation lasted about a year. Then the computer folks came to my office for an inventory. I received a brand new computer, but the tech guy says, "your printer is old. We don't support that printer any more. You need to throw it away. It's not going to work with your new computer." When asked about getting a new printer I was told I would need to put in a request for one which would be considered in due time (see requests for toner above). I sit there in my office, banging my head against the desk. At least until I I connect my old printer to my new computer and tell it to print, turns out my new computer knows exactly how to print on my old printer. When the computer guy comes back down the hall and asks if I want him to haul the old printer off to the garbage, I smile broadly and say, "Ill take care of that, you've got important work to do."
Again my happiness last for only so long. It seems like some general somewhere with 3+ stars decided the military was spending too much on toner. The order was put out that there was only to be one printer for every 12 bodies, across the board. I mean really what genius doesn't consider that some places, oh let's say like a medical clinic, might need a higher ratio of printers to people. It also seems like taking a little time to consider reducing the overall number of printers might not really do much to reduce the amount being printed, but it really will serve to piss people off and make everybody less efficient. The general probably has a masters in business, regardless he's got 3+ stars so here we are. To make things even better, as the announcement is made that printers will be collected, we are told that our computer people will not wait until we have finished the toner we already have for the printers they are collecting. The money is being saved on "future toner," the stuff we already have is considered a wash.
At this point my mind has really started turning, I figure I might as well really bank on the power of incompetence. The Mission Incomprehensible music starts playing in my head. I know when the systems folks are coming to collect the old printers, these are the same folks that said my printer would never work, they're the same folks who told me to throw the printer away. So the day before they come for the printers, I disconnect it from my computer, unplug it and stow it in a corner. If you sat in my chair you could see the thing in plain sight. I'm not about to steal anything, just not my style. I then make myself scarce the whole day, I try my best to disappear from the building any time I'm not directly with a patient behind closed doors. I figure it's best not to have to answer too many questions. I have my best answer all picked out, "but you told me to throw it away" but I never get a chance to use it. The systems people come and go, leaving my printer right where it sets. They never call to ask about it, they never come back to get it. They would have to get in a car and drive all of five minutes to come back to where I work. I let the printer set in the corner for three weeks, just to be sure they're not coming back. Then presto, I'm the only medical officer to have their own printer.
Comment: This story illustrates the struggle medical officers face at the deckplate level. Looking at the situation, the senior officer who instituted the policy probably got a promotion for saving money to buy "bombs and bullets". The sad reality however is that policy probably increased costs by decreasing efficiency, output and retention. There was likely a contracting company providing the IT support who was motivated to sell the government a new printer for financial gain. Regardless of the reasons, military medicine needs to do a better job of supporting its medical team. Something as simple and inexpensive as having timely access to a laser printer (especially one that works, has toner and is paid for!) could improve the quality of care, productivity and morale in the medical clinic.
